So You Say You Don’t Want a Committed Relationship

To Whom It May Concern [Read: Heterosexual Men]:

Please note that oftentimes, when you tell women that you don’t want a committed relationship and she says that’s okay, she actually means it.

I’m not sure if you were aware of this, but a lot of women have lives of their own. And full time jobs. And they own their own homes and maybe work a second job because they’re also hard working and can take care of themselves. Women sometimes even have friends and family who they adore and try to spend time with when possible. And yes, when time is available to relax, it’s nice to do that, too. So trust me, please, when I tell you women are often being honest and are okay with dating casually.

It’s just that sometimes, there are men who need to learn how to casually date.

It’s the inability to do this that has played a large part in the longstanding myth that women are always “reading too much into things” or “getting more invested” than you are.

How trite. And inaccurate: more often than not, it’s your own damn fault.

A scenario:

Man tells woman he is surprised at how much he likes her but that he doesn’t want anything serious at the moment. Woman is in the same boat on both counts – she also likes him but is too busy in life to have a fully committed relationship also – woman agrees with man and sincerely means it. Of his own accord and without prompting from woman, man then proceeds to:

  1. buy contact solution and case to leave in woman’s bathroom cabinet,
  2. buy toothbrush to leave in women’s bathroom cabinet,
  3. invites woman to spend hours at local coffee shop while he studies and she works,
  4. buy you two matching bathrobes, then leave yours at woman’s house, confirming that you did so on purpose

Actions speak louder than words. If a man says he’s going to call and he doesn’t call, then he doesn’t want to call. How the fuck in the world is a woman not supposed to assume the opposite.

Guys, get your shit together and start behaving accordingly.