When Ya Gotta Go……..(The Brown Bandit)

A Colorado neighborhood is working to stop a jogger who keeps defecating in the front yards of houses — even in front of children. “I was like ‘are you serious? Are you really taking a poop right here in front of my kids?’ And she was like ‘Yeah…sorry,'” homeowner Cathy Budde said. She says it wouldn’t be that big of a deal, if it was just that one time. Budde says other people have come forward to report they have seen the same woman relieve herself outside a local Walgreens and in other yards.
Source: http://www.wcvb.com/article/jogger-nicknamed-the-mad-pooper-wanted-for-defecating-in-front-yards/12273141


The one thing i learned from my time of being a serious runner ( I ran 3 miles maybe 25 times) is that nothing cultivates a shit quite like chugging water and going for a nice run. It Scrapes up all the sediment on the bottom of the tank. Of course it would be nice if this happened in front of the proper facilities, But asking someone if you can use the bathroom dripping sweat with a “i’m gonna shit my pants” look on your face tends to put the business owner in like a bank robbery situation they want nothing to do with. Honestly what would you do if a super caffeinated psycho mom, pouring sweat knocked on your front door and asked if they could shit in your house?

Maybe in the early 1900’s shit like that was going on. You could just be a weary traveler and knock on a random ass door and request a bunch of shit. “I’m just looking for a square meal and a place to rest my head for the night”. That shit isn’t happening in 2017. People freak the fuck out at unexpected knocks…it’s just the way it is, but to fault this poor woman who probably has some sort of mental flax seed induced bowel issue, and just has to exorcise the demons is plain unfair.

Bitch should definitely be using bags though….Maybe rock the fanny pack full of toilet like items.Truth be told I would not mind a soccer mom shitting on my lawn as long as she picked it up after….We’re living in a society after all..